I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
