Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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