Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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