I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
