btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
