you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
