i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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