now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
