I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
