I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
