I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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