Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
