I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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