'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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