I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
