Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
