How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
