just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
