you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
