i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
