So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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