And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
