Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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