I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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