His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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