Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
