yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
