Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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