Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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