I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
