If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
