hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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