Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
