the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
