i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
