she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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