hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He better not be in your backpack
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
