I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
