he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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