cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
