I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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