awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He shit in the fireplace
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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