I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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