So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
