dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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