we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
