Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
