Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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