If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
