I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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