She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
